Living with Migraine: Feeling a Little Off
It isn’t easy for me to shut off the day and fall asleep on a regular night, and the daily political insanity in the U.S. in 2025 is proving to be anything but regular. Once asleep, it’s frustrating when something wakes me up in the middle of the night -- the cat, my bladder, a nightmare about living in 1940s Germany, or a migraine episode.
I grudgingly shuffle to the bathroom and shield my eyes from the light that I know is going to hurt like hell. As annoying as it is, I’m thankful I woke up early in the episode, and a triptan tablet will work to knock out my symptoms. No injection is necessary this time.
I remember a different midnight episode that was so advanced I suspected a pill was not going to cut it, but my sumatriptan injection was well past its expiration date. I swallowed a pill at 11:30 p.m. and hoped for the best. It didn’t work, so I took a second pill at 1:00 a.m. The migraine was persistent, and by 3:00 a.m. I was vomiting. At 4:00 a.m. I drove myself to the emergency room in the rain. Not wise, but at least there wasn’t much traffic. I convinced the ER personnel I wasn’t there for narcotics and got the sumatriptan injection I needed. I called in for a refill for the injections as soon as I got home. They were expensive, too, but not as bad as an ER visit.
I felt off for the rest of that day. But it wasn’t just feeling foggy-headed and tired. It was deeper than that. It was about the disruption to my life and the outrageous amount of money I was going to pay for the privilege of being pain-free. I should’ve felt healed, but instead I felt robbed of time and money.
On my way to the pharmacy, I realized I had accidentally left my cell phone at home. That’s when I started crying, followed by thinking, “This is a really weird thing to cry about.” Though I was sure there were people who would cry about not having an electronic communication device within 2 feet of them for more than five minutes.
Nor was I crying about the lack of sleep or having to endure gut-wrenching migraine pain. That was nothing new for a lifelong migraine warrior. No, the tears flowed because I felt overwhelmingly alone, disconnected in ways beyond the cellular network. I was convinced that the cars next to me were full of people who had purpose, family, and friends. They achieved things, contributed to society, and were happy. Me, well, I was feeling a little off.
Living with migraines wears me down like that sometimes, especially in 2025. The intolerance, distrust, and uncivilized treatment of other human beings on American soil amplifies the already isolating characteristics of migraine illness. One thing is for sure: if I’m feeling a little off, it’s a good idea to avoid the news and step away from my cellphone.
It’s OK to let myself feel sad, frustrated, or angry for a while. Then, I take a moment to rebalance, focus on trying to make my part of the world better, and remember that I’m part of a global humanity made up of many caring people. I don’t have to face migraines or the state of the world alone, and that helps me sleep at night.
Originally published at WebMD.com on 5-19-25.
